Miss Amanda
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Miss Amanda" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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09:16 pm
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who??
Isnt it strange how people change? And why does it seem more apparent when looking at others than looking in a mirror? Its either I have changed or I know I am going to. I can see it looming ahead, but the problem is I dont know the ending.
Why are some people easier to stay in touch with? Is it that they make more of an effort and you just tag along? Or is that they mean more to you so your effort is grade A? How can someone you grew up with become another stranger with a familiar face? A person that you used to know. But now know nothing about. What caused that change? Was it just life unfolding? Was it the distance? Now being in the same state doesnt seem to mean as much as it did in the old days. And if you lose that person does that mean you lose a part of you too? I think so. Its like that one theory...if no one looks back on the good times and you dont talk to that person anymore then did they really happen? Could two people really change that much?
Its funny what time does to a person. Maybe its just all my fault. I'm surely not good at staying in touch. I think, but never act. Sometimes its too agonizing to run through the list of ho-hum daily things that repeat week after week. But I always thought things would be different. That seems to be my motto. She was the one person I thought would be my constant in this experiment, life. Now something has shaken the test tube.
I look at this person who has now become a figment of my memory. I know nothing about her. Shes not there in these important times of change, love, boys, parties, betrayals, stress, first apartments, creative endevors, friendship circles and inside jokes, jobs, and life. How does someone disappear so willingly?
How does one get that person back? Is it really all gone or is it just me letting my pessimistic side out? Phone converstations seem like a waste. What are you supposed to talk about in those few minutes? What you really need is somekind of woman-bearall-soul weekend retreat. But who has time for that?
Its hard when someone has been there since the first day of kindergarden and is no longer around. A part of you is gone. Those days of being a kid. I feel like Peter Pan on the search for my shadow of my former self. I have always felt thankful and relieved that I had a best friend, but now that adjective is losing its meaning. And it bewilders me. A hole is being dug beneith me with my friend two feet away in her own hole. Where is the rescue team? I know shes still out there. I know we still have connections because I read her journal and I know what shes feeling. But we dont talk anymore. Does she even think about me?
Where has my best friend gone? I miss her. At least the her that I used to know...
Current Mood: everything
Current Music: damian rice
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08:17 pm
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Hay its my butt!
Its amazing what boredom will lead you to. Alas I stumbled upon this websight and loe and behold my username still works. Yet, is it all in vain I wonder? Ashley Gilbert Filbert will be the only one to read this...
I know what you mean about the freakin spring breakers. Mike must have had a "please cross infront at me spontaniously" sign attached to his car because it seems to be the going trend for all of the buttholes down here. And not even a hint of a thank-you wave! I just wanna step on the gas and say "oopse".
And if miss filbert is reading this...I'm glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. U know im here for you to listen or give you some ill-fitting advice. I dont know much on your subject matter but I know u. Commie commie if you wanna.
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11:33 am
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turkey day
Hay girlie. It was really good to hear your voice when I got your message. Im in NH right now. My grandmother and Sara Mae died and so i flew up. The memorial was on Thurs. and the burrial on Fri in Mass. It was tough of course but it was good to see everyone again. I'm leaving on Sunday and I have hw I still have to do that I brought with me. Some teachers are assholes and dont understand the concept that someone in your family has died and you wont be in the state so why not just give em a break, eh?
Whats up with that painting you're so excited about? I wanna see some of your work woman!
I regret to inform u that I wont be attending your holiday feast. Im going to Mikes parents house because he just cant live one day without me ;) It'll be fun tho. I like his parents. Is John spending it with you?
We should talk sometime. I bet we have lots and lots to share. Call me when u get a free minute and I'll do the same. K? Luve ya little Bunkie!!
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02:45 pm
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paaaarty
Its that time of the year again. 21st Birthday bash at the Blue Martini with promises of fun and free drinks from the bus boys who work there and friends who will be joining me. Can u come?
ps. we have a lot of catching up to do. ive been meaning to call u, but as usual, life is busy. miss ya
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12:11 pm
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its me!
| P | Perfect | | A | Arty | | N | Naughty | | D | Delicate | | A | Ambivalent | | U | Unreal | | N | Normal | | D | Dainty | | E | Easy | | R | Radical | | W | Wild | | E | Emotional | | A | Amazing | | R | Responsible | | S | Saintly |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
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07:49 am
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uh-huh uh-huh alllright
two days off of school and work! Whos comin to visit????? pS. miss ashley, i still need your address at school so I can send ya a little sumptin sumptin (uh-huh uh-huh allllright)
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07:51 am
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lets ponder
In the event that I am reading over my Karma I came across a question. Who am I? It says to ask yourself and ponder this. Take a breath and think deep. Then answer the question. My journal entry is still blank.
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07:57 am
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Ashley Rocks My World!
Just a little note to say....
I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I'm sure
And I just can't wait ‘til the day, when you knock on my door
Now everytime I go for the mailbox, gotta hold myself down
‘Cause I just can't wait till you write me, you're comin' around
Now I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
I'm walking on sunshine (whoa oh)
And don't it feel good, hey, all right now, and don't it feel good, hey, yeah
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12:44 pm
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Wanted
Lost:
white s/s t-shirt, worn-in, comfy, size medium
words "goats really like to nibble" in orange fuzzy on front
last seen in Lakeland
if seen please call
merci beaucoup
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01:56 am
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yo snow?
I wish i could go play in the snow for ya ashley pal, but the snow isnt grade A here. It hasnt snowed in a while so this old snow is gettin...well, old. Its crunchy and hard and not lots of snowman fun. i feel bad too cuz i told shannon id build a snowman for her.
i stopped smokin for two days! hooray! but i started up again yesterday after a looong day out and about in concord with my dad and bro. i just dont know....
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